Day 121 Turkey 17/1/2011, Antalya. A trip to the zoo or 'The Lion and Matt'.

Hopefully this doesn't look like the first sign of madness! It occurs to me that this will mean very little to anyone outside of the UK and probably then only a handful of people, but hey ho.

There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool/Antalya,

Well Antalya is on the coast and according to the Tourist board it has been referred to as paradise on Earth, so I guess in their eyes at least it's famous!

That's noted for fresh air and fun,

Can't argue here, although fortunately we are talking about Antalya, I don't remember anything too fresh aired about Blackpool. It could be said that Antalya is noted for Kebabs, it's old city walls and apparently it's jams!

And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom

Debs & Toad, you will have to allow me some poetic license here!

Went there with young Albert/Matt, their son.

Young Matt, and a charming fellow he is, although he isn't there son. We are back to allowing some license!

A grand little lad was young Albert/Matt,

Not so little thanks,

All dressed in his best; quite a swell

Bit of a problem here, as I only have two changes of clothes and neither could be described as best!

With a stick with an 'orse's 'ead 'andle,

The finest that Woolworth's could sell.

Change this to a bike with a Rohloff rear hub and as Woolworth's aren't selling much of anything any more, the finest that Thorn cycles could sell.

They didn't think much of the Ocean:

Have to disagree, its very nice.

The waves, they were fiddlin' and small,

True, haven't seen any waves for the last few days.

There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,

There is at least one wreck and as to the drowning I would rather not think about it.

Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.

I did see a cat fall off a wall into a dustbin the other day, which was quite funny!

So, seeking for further amusement,

I have to confess, I am starting to run out of things to do.

They paid and went into the Zoo,

This involved about 10km of busy city traffic, a short diversion when I became directionally challenged, a complete lack of signs and the handing over of 2TL (approx 80p).

Where they'd Lions and Tigers and Camels,

All of the above were available as well as goats, which the sign said were native to Turkey. Quite how anyone in Turkey could have not seen a goat before and had to go to a zoo to see one, is beyond me. The hillsides are strewn with them!

And old ale and sandwiches too.

Nope, it was just as well I had brought my lunch, as there wasn't even so much as a snack bar. I have a suspicion that not many Turks actually go to the zoo.

There were one great big Lion called Wallace;

Couldn't tell you his name, the sign was in Turkish. Lets just say Aslan (Turkish for Lion).

His nose were all covered with scars -

He seemed in remarkably good condition, considering the down at heel surroundings

He lay in a somnolent posture,

He did indeed, probably boredom.

With the side of his face on the bars.

In fairness he was a few feet away from the bars.

Now Albert/Matt had heard about Lions,

I wouldn't consider myself an expert but I have watched the odd David Attenborough program.

How they was ferocious and wild -

I suspect this may be but two of their characteristics.

To see Wallace lying so peaceful,

Aslan did look peaceful and bored.

Well, it didn't seem right to the child.

After a couple of hours of wandering round the dilapidated pens I felt the same way as poor old Aslan.

You never know what to expect with other countries zoos, this certainly isn't the worst I have ever been to. I suspect that Antalya zoo is never going to be added to the list of great ones though. In fairness to them, there did appear to be a huge amount of maintenance going on, so perhaps I just came at the wrong time. It cant really excuse the filthy water in the pools, impossible to see through, because of the fingerprints and grease, glass of the reptile house and the questionable size of some of the pens. Quite why a python needs a room that is about 8ft square, yet a 6ft long Nile crocodile gets a room about the same size and seemingly no pool to lie in, is obviously known only to the zoo officials.

Seeking further amusement I left and went back to the hotel, via a local restaurant for lunch. Unfortunately on the way back my knee started hurting again, which is a little worrying. I will have to keep an eye on it and probably lay off the cycling for a few days, which is a shame as I was just getting back into the swing of things.

Apologies to Marriott Edgar for rather destroying the poem, I felt like doing something a little different and the poem sprung into my mind while I was riding along. I recall reciting it on stage during an old time musical, it's funny what you can still remember. If anyone wants to know how it really ends it's called 'The Lion and Albert'. We used to have a recording by Stanley Holloway, who made it famous, on an old 78rpm record.

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.